#haikupickuplines

Ursine Excercise

If we were running
from bears, I’d run slower just
to look at your butt.

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Coast to Coast

I like your curves. Take
wide right turns? Your silhouette
belongs on mud flaps.

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Only Hope

Nice cosplay, Princess,
but you’re looking for love in
Alderaan places.

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Denmark

If we gardened, girl,
I’d plant my tulips and your
tulips together.

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100% Catch

Do you know what my
shirt is made of? Boy-
friend Material.

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Aw, Cookie Cookie

Were you in Girl Scouts?
You tie my heart in knots.
 I
tagalong, half-hitched.

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Bovine Romance

This place is full of
pseudointellectuals.
Let’s go tip some cows.

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To the Top of the Wall

Twas the night before
Christmas and all through the house…
your discarded clothes.

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TLD

I thought all the good
domain names were taken, but
you’re thebomb.com

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Moo

I know that milk does
a body good, but damn girl…
how much did you drink?

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Snake Handling

I would convert to
Pentecostal just so I
could lay hands on you.

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Where Shopping is a Pleasure

Bread, milk, apples, cheese,
sugar, please, I wanna bag
you like groceries.

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Where Shopping is a Pleasure

Bread, milk, apples, cheese,
sugar, please, I wanna bag
you like groceries.

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Cracker Barrel

If we were breakfast…
You—gravy. And me? Flakey
biscuits, sopping

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Late Charges

The curve of your spine,
like a well-read library
book that I check out.

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Flannel

Girl, if I was a
lumberjack, that would make you
a lumberjack’s wife.

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Hard Times

You seem so sturdy;
your frame, fit to bear children
and work my farmlands.

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